On smoking related novelties and other assorted package contents…

Today my dad sent S. and I a package in the mail. It included:

1. A smashed chocolate mushroom from a little chocolate shop called The Chocolate Choo Choo. It is whipped meringue and chocolate. They are fan-freaking-tastic. They are straight sugar. I eat them slowly, over a period of days, to prolong the grainy, sugary-melty bites.

2. Lifesavers. My dad used to take Life Saver ‘courage pills’ when he was little for times when he… needed courage. Obviously. There have been some tearful calls home lately from a newly minted mom of a toddler and I could use me some courage pills. And wine and yoga. Both of which I checked off tonight. Yoga prior to the wine. I should have put some courage pills IN the wine. Our favorite bar while I lived in NYC was the Gin Mill. The bartenders there would have a private stash of gummy bears soaking in vodka they would share with us. Yikes. Little gummy explosions of straight vodka. I don’t think that Life Savers have the same porosity abilities. And anyway, courage pills work best independently.


3. A little monkey eraser. The confusing part of this is that I’m not sure who this is intended for. To outsiders, this seems to logically be for S. I will direct you back to my previous post on collections, however, to confuse you into wondering to whom this monkey should report home. Regardless of the intentions, I am taking it. It is, after all, a tiny purple monkey eraser, and what 31 year old female would NOT want that? This girl DOES. Tiny purple monkey eraser: mine. And anyway…

4. S. got a tiny harmonica. He loves it. After I put him to bed tonight, I heard him on the monitor playing it in the dark like a tiny, train jumping hobo harmonizing melancholy tunes by the light of the moon. AND he got:

5. A licorice pipe. I let him bite off the mouthpiece while we were skyping with my parents to listen to my little harmonica playing hobo. It was well timed since he has his first dentist’s appointment tomorrow. My dad has also sent him cigar gum and candy cigarettes in previous packages. Ryan is convinced my dad is trying to turn him into a smoker, but I assured him that we grew up on these candies and we turned out fine. More than fine if I’m being honest. Alison and I are pretty awesome which I’m convinced is a direct result of those tobacco related candy novelties. And we don’t smoke. The hookah smoking in Egypt didn’t count because that was a cultural experience. Obviously.


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