Welcome ye, to the Renaissance Fair!

This is my 100th post! *fanfare and cheering in the background*

Today S., Ryan, and I went to a Renaissance Fair with our friend Lola and her son Brady. Renaissance Fairs are fantastic. There is bizarre entertainment and blatant and encouraged people watching due to the fact that if you are going to period dress and speak in a fake accent, you are virtually begging for an audience. If you have NOT been to a Renaissance Festival, I am going to make a list of what to expect to encourage you to find one:

1. Weirdos. I mean this in a loving way. Have you seen the movie Role Models? I kept thinking of that movie while walking around today. These people dress up as Elvin folk and court jesters. And your occasional fairy. And they speak in ye olde English accents. Except for…

2. …the belly dancing gypsies we watched for a good 15 minutes. They spoke with a vaguely Caribbean accent and kept talking about drinking ouzo. I spent most of the time staring in rapt jealousy and confusion at their self-confidence in baring stomachs that looked like it was entirely probable that at least 3 children had been carried in there over the years. Work it Caribe Gypsies.

3. Boobs. Humongous boobs. Pushed up and out for the world to ogle. Which I did because I am not exaggerating when I try to explain how huge they are. The woman who took our tickets had such huge breasts that she had shoved (and I literally mean shoved) a little open pill bottle container in between them into which she put the ticket stubs.

4. Bellies. The belly dancers were not exceptions. The fairy sprite/wood nymph girls like to show them off, but also the girls wearing leather skirts and bras. I don’t know what group they belong in. The Xena group I suppose. There are lots of bangley Zumba skirt/belts too. The toned bellies look nice in a little fairy get-up, but the I-don’t-give-a-____ bellies are more fascinating. Win-Win spectator-wise.

5. Unicorns. Renaissance Fair people love unicorns. You can buy paintings of unicorns, see wood cut-outs of unicorns, buy unicorn paraphernalia… If you like unicorns, the Renaissance Fair is the place for YOU.

6. Sword fighting.

7. Jousting.

8. Men on stilts.

Go
right
now.

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