It really is awesome though…

Tonight what I did was teach my chicken to use the hammock. It was so easy you guys. 
 
Step 1:
Lay on hammock while holding chicken on your stomach. When the chicken begins creeping gradually higher and higher up to your neck, you will wonder if she is going to peck at your mascara which is pretty horrifying even if she is a tame bird.
Step 2:
You’re going to have to buckle down on this step and seriously pray that she doesn’t crap on you.

Step 3:
Try to tell her that traction isn’t a viable option on a hammock. Chickens are stubborn.
Step 4:
You perch her on the dowel portion of the hammock. You swing the hammock a bit to get her used to it. Register that you are swinging a chicken and note that you are quickly approaching a level of crazy from which you can not return if you share it publicly.

 

Step 5: CAREFULLY get on hammock and reflect on what a gifted chicken trainer you are. Also, reflect on how you may have to be your biggest cheerleader in this because it is not one of those areas of struggle that people genuinely appreciate. Because it is insane. And awesome.

 

 

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