The one with a bunch of excuses.

I became that obnoxious blogger who posts at pretty frequent intervals and then drops off the blogosphere. Do you want me to share some excuses? Well, you’re getting them anyway.

Excuse #1: My school year was… ahhhh…. challenging. I relied heavily on Jesus and Merlot, the former in large, healthy doses and the latter in heart healthy, moderate doses. Most of the time. (I’ll leave it up to you to decide the former or latter on that last comment.)
Excuse #2: I am working out in my brain some projects which fall under headings such as authoring a book, or starting a new, more formal and frequently updated blog, or undertaking an ever evolving concept that is close-to-my ever bleeding social justice heart but which I have no technical knowledge to execute… these types of things. They each make my ears bleed. Separately. Like, each IDEA separately. Not my ears bleeding separately. Terrible, terrible hyperbole. I’m sorry. At any rate, they take up a lot of brain space and the book one alone means that:
Excuse #3: I have to decipher the difference between topics for blogging and saving ideas for publishing. This means that I have to read books about using social media as a writing format and other topics not as gripping as the mile long list of fiction I’d like to get through this summer as a result of Excuse #1 taking up all of my time during the school year. But these nonfiction books are learning me, as Isaac says. No, honey. You say, “teaching me”. These nonfiction books are TEACHING me. *blank stare*
Excuse #4: I am a mom. This means that I spend a large portion of my day feeling like I:
a) don’t supplement my child’s education enough,
b) don’t assure him that I love him enough,
c) don’t play with him enough,
d) don’t schedule playdates enough,
e) don’t speak kindly enough,
f) don’t do ANYTHING well or enough…
…which basically boils down to me trying to sort through all of the stuff from Excuse #2 at
a) at 6:00 AM (Fail. Just… fail.)
b) at naptime. (Fail. WHY DON’T CHILDREN TAKE 1-2 HOUR LONG NAPS INTO ELEMENTARY YEARS? I am convinced that this would benefit all parties and not just myself. I am convinced that this is not me being selfish. No… no I’m not… And that’s how we end up back at Point F from aforementioned list. WORST MOM EVER!)
c) after bedtime (Fail. Breaking Bad sounds so much less taxing than reading a book on how someone else has managed to already do similar ideas as the ones you’re playing around with and are laying out how DAMN DIFFICULT it really is and I don’t actually want to hear that. Lie to me. At least until I’ve already gained a significant amount of headway. Then tell me the truth. Or not.)
Excuse #5: The line that distinguishes what is public worthy and what is not is very gray. How much should I share about my kid? (What if when he gets older he affirms my worst fears and DOES think I’m the WORST MOM EVER?!) What if I write something that gets me into trouble? (There were many, many things this year that would have made some insane blog posts (see Excuse #1 for example), but I’d like to keep my job and my friend/family-member-in-good-standing status and so I have to train my word smithing mouth to shut up.) Also, I am constantly combating the emotional debacle ensuing from posting something I feel fine about through innumerable drafts and then immediately after clicking that ‘publish’ button, finding a torrential number of ways I could have offended someone accidentally. The nonfiction books I HAVE managed to read as referenced¬†in the Excuse #4 issues do not seem to favor bloggers/authors who fight fears of what other people think about them with, like, the emotional equivalent of flailing sissy girl punches. Problematic.
Let’s really just boil this down:
I just wrote an entire post full of excuses as to why I haven’t been writing more posts. With no resolution in sight. I also do not think that a sweet little solution is in my stack of nonfiction to-read-books which are peeking out from behind my Good Reads fiction list… which are constantly being interrupted by my husband asking me if I want to start Breaking Bad Season 4 (YES) or by my son getting out of bed to yell down the stairs that he “HAS TO TELL ME SOMEPIN!” of which the ‘somepin’ is unclear even to himself other than as an excuse to get out of bed. I’ve totally got this under control. Totally. To-Tal-Ly.
This is, in fact, from 2005. It does, however, depict my timeless face of “No SERIOUSLY. I’ve GOT this! See how SERIOUS I look? SUPER serious!” My 23 year old face is in agreement with my 33 year old face. Double thumbs up, guys. Double thumbs up.
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